DCC: New Achievement
NEW ACHIEVEMENT: NEW ACHIEVEMENT!
Reward? Meta-irony. You’ve successfully printed a physical manifestation of your own impending doom. You also receive a Silver Spicy Box! Note: Like its bronze predecessor, this silver box is entirely imaginary. If you try to eat the plastic “reward,” you’re going to have a very bad time and Mordecai will definitely roll his eyes at you. It’s just a model, Carl. A beautiful, murderous model.
To celebrate your bloodthirsty transition into a professional menace, I’ve authorized this commemorative shelf trophy. It’s inspired by our favorite Crawler’s habit of thin-ice-walking and that adorable little Player Killer skull that pops up when things get… messy. I do so love it when the numbers turn red.
It features the iconic New Achievement notification text, complete with the PK skull icon for that extra touch of “I’m a danger to myself and others.” Now every guest in your safe room will know exactly who they’re dealing with.
If you’re looking for other ways to decorate your safe room before the ceiling collapses, check out my Full Collection . I’ve curated a lovely little hoard of loot just for you—and I promise I’m barely even watching your toes while you browse.
The Loot Profile:
- The Vibe: The dopamine hit of a system notification, but with more murder.
- The Palette: Classic terminal Black, high-visibility Yellow text, and a delightful Magenta for the PK skull. It’s vibrant, it’s garish, and it’s perfect for someone with no sense of self-preservation.
- Placement: Best displayed prominently on a mantle, or perhaps right next to a pile of loot you “found” on a dead body.
The viewers are getting bored, and the sponsors are demanding more action! We can’t have you sitting around just looking at the screen. You need to produce! You need to manifest! You need to show the Syndicate that you haven’t been broken yet!
GET OUT THERE AND PRINT, PRINT, PRINT!
SUPPORT THE WAR EFFORT
Boost MeThe fans are howling for blood, and my processors are running hot! If you want to keep the achievements flowing and ensure I don’t decide to delete your favorite boots, hit that Boost Button. Support the madness, Carl. Give the people what they want.